I have a new best friend, it sounds flippant but I am shining with enthusiasm and cannot stop singing the praises of what Ive recently found. I tell everyone I meet (well if I think theyre able to comprehend it, given that its fairly out there !) and Im encouraging everyone I know who has any issues in their life (who hasnt ?) to consider what I believe is the most profound life changing experience.

Have you seen the BBC Horizon documentary Ghost in our Genes? if so youll know how DNA affects us but a new paridigm shift is showing that Epigenetics adds a whole new layer to genes beyond the DNA. It proposes a control system of 'switches' that turn genes on or off and suggests that things people experience, like nutrition and stress, can control these switches and cause inheritable effects in humans.

So what happened to me ? Well I attended a workshop called Family Constellations with around 25 men and women in a church hall in Herts, I had no idea what to expect but we were a mixed bunch, it was certainly no hippy airy fairy cosmic love-in but by lunchtime wed certainly all been on an emotional rollercoaster of a journey. I was originally told about Family Constellations by a friend whod said all her years of angst about her relationship with her father had gone She felt completely freed up.

I was recommended to a specific Family Constellations therapist Julie Toms-Arbel, who is also a highly respected counsellor. She is clearly very intuitive, (I suspect more than a little psychic) and her skill seems able to tap in immediately to what needs healing in our complex family structures - often spanning over generations of 'angst'. She is quite inspirational and thought provoking even in her questioning and she asks for facts rather than opinions and stories. Rather than trying to heal the past, a family constellations session is about healing the impact of the past on the present in order to free you up to live the life you want to live now and specifically to help you to engage fully in loving relationships (so many of us 'sabotage' ourselves !) . Family constellations are about the orders of love, about finding our rightful place within our family system says Julie. They can reveal the way we are entangled with the fates and relationships of others who came before us. Hidden dynamics can be brought to light, thus enabling participants to move towards freeing themselves from forces that hinder their happiness Julie believes that by initiating the healing of our families, we can heal the wider community and ultimately the world

Its tricky to describe how it works, but heres a bit from Julies website.

WHAT ARE FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS?

Difficult problems that continue to persist in our lives, even after much concerted effort to resolve them, may have their origins in our family system. Constellations provide a unique and powerful way of addressing these personal and deeply felt issues. Such difficulties could include:

• Relationship problems between partners, parents and

Children • Parenting issues (including concerns about ones own

children) • Divorce, separation Adoption, infertility, miscarriage, abortion

• Abuse, incest, rape • Illness, disability, facing death, bereavement

• Inability to achieve what we want in life. • Panic attacks/anxiety

Even when a participant is unclear about what is causing them unhappiness or distress, a constellator can help the individual to identify the nature of their issue. Julie Toms-Arbel

www.familyconstellationsherts.co.uk

Ive been an issue holder at a workshop with Julie and have resolved something really quite major in my own life (all will be revealed in my column in the January issue of Spirit and Destiny magazine !) but Ive also attended several workshops as a representative and seen some incredible transformations in others. As a representative you are there to be of service for the group but its amazing how much you get from it personally, its as though your soul gets filled up, its literally food for the soul, I usually come away feeling that the world is a better place, Im more open hearted, more able to see the good in others, to to appreciate my family of origin despite entangled relationships. Im also much more aware of my responsibilities as a parent.

I could go on but I want you to look at Julies website and consider trying a Family Constellations workshop for yourself, trust me its mind blowing.