Julie Toms-Arbel
Counsellor and Family Constellations Facilitator
tel: 07980897768
email: j.tomsarbel@gmail.com
•One-to-one counselling •Family constellation workshops •Workshops for men
•Couple counselling •Parenting workshops •Workshops for women
ONE-TO-ONE COUNSELLING SESSIONS
When someone comes to me for one-to-one counselling the first question I ask myself is: who is this person sitting in front of me? I make use of a diagnostic gaze and my ability to build pictures of the individual concerned. This 'taking in' of the person as a whole involves no judgment of right or wrong, but instead is there to serve the client.
I then take a detailed personal history, including relevant facts about the family system that the client was born into (significant ancestral events going back a few generations can be very relevant).
I explore what the individual is really longing for, as well as what moves and strengthens them. Within a safe, respectful and confidential environment the client is helped to make sense of the underlying causes of their difficulties and to connect with their greater purpose.
I have an interest in the impact of trauma on the human being and work with issues such as anxiety/panic attacks, depression, loss of purpose, parenting issues, relationship difficulties, bereavement, illness, sexual abuse, and existential crises.
COUPLE COUNSELLING.
When working with couples I focus on what supports love in relationships; what makes love flourish and what harms it. My aim is to help clients shed light on the hidden influences that present in their relationships, such as effects that originate in their families of origin. Also, much can be learnt from looking at how two systems come together, as in the case of couples, and how they affect each other.
I have extensive experience counselling couples and so fully appreciate that working in the field of intimate adult relationships is a very sensitive and delicate business and so requires a deep respect. I provide a warm, safe, supportive and non-judgmental setting and by using the kind of methods outlined in the section on Individual counselling sessions, I aim to help couples find a way forward and restore their relationships to order. For some couples it may be a case of helping them to come to terms with and manage the end of a relationship.